Can you give me some advice?

Today a friend of mine asked me for advice on how to give advice to someone else.

At first I looked at the situation in a wholly objective manner such as the problem itself and who is the person being advised and all. Then my thoughts started to go on the negative as if I was sort of judging the party which is to be advised (in my head that is). So I did not like where my thoughts were leading me and I chose to follow another train of thought...I told myself that I would advise as if I did not know the person who was to be advised.

I told my friend that the advice can be what one thinks best but it is only as effective as it can be if it comes from the heart of a caring friend and not the mind of an intellectual moral police.

Usually I have given advice before and at times when I was not even asked for it (and of course I learnt the hard way not to do that anymore) but usually I get what I deserved because i had unconsciously cultivated an attitude called 'holier than thou'. This term plainly means that I give advice on the terms that I think I am a more holier person than the advised.

And I think every now and then each one of us falls into this trap.

Nowadays I think twice whenever I give advice and whenever I do I try my very best to let only one thing be my beacon of guidance - my care and compassion for the other.

Perhaps there would be no point in advising when you are doing it half-heartedly or merely because it just seems to be the right thing to do at the time. Only do it when you mean it. People are more susceptible to the heart and soul rather than the mere words from a practical mind. And once the heart is in the game, you can see that it influences everything being said and done in order for that very same advice to be effective. Perhaps I should end this post with the last thing I told my friend.

Let him hear it from your heart as a caring friend and not from the words in which you speak.