A Moment of Inspiration

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

My role as a parent in the community

I write this post now as I enter the new frontiers of becoming a parent. It is an exciting and at times nerve-wrecking experience but it always provides for interesting thoughts and reflections to take place.

Credits: CheekyC

One of the major adjustments needed after having a child is in my daily schedule, and both of us do have a busy schedule. Other than holding a day job, we are also occupied with programmes offering spiritual education to communities with the aim of creating unity in the many neighbourhoods around the country. These programmes are arranged in three distinct age groups - children; junior youth; and youth and adults. Find more about it here.

As such, with my daughter now beginning to be more engaging, we find ourselves needing to dedicate more time to her upbringing. So the question then arises if we should reduce the time we are giving to those community building activities I mentioned earlier. This question may seem obvious enough, especially if it is just for these few years that we give more of our time to our daughter. Of course the community will not suffer in these few years and there are others who are at a more conducive time in their lives to work for the community as well.

But something did not feel right.

As we struggled to find the time and the energy to continue working for the betterment of our neighbourhood, something became increasingly clear to us.

What is it that we actually want to provide for our child? A loving community for her to grow up in.

I think that many social forces around us mold our thoughts about upbringing to be related to that of financial security, good schools, good grades and physical security. Surely all these are valid. However, strong thoughts of individualism are also influencing us to often think of the individual child, that every child to fend for themselves and that it is our duty as parents to equip our children with the best so that he or she can fend off 'others' on their own. And somehow this is the idea of independence which we have created - one which is largely centred on the individual.

What about the community? Is there nothing that we can do as parents to help create a better community for our children?

When did the 'I' become separated from the 'we'?

I strongly believe that we were not meant to live our lives focused on ourselves as individuals but also on who we can be as a united whole. It is in this very notion that we continue to labour within our neighbourhoods so that one day, our children or their children may grow up in a neighbourhood built on solid material and spiritual foundations.

We, of course, do not expect that our daugher will grow up in a rosy care-free world. Most likely not, but when did we, as a community lose our collective will to do something about it? It's not a simple matter as well and we acknowledge its complexity. And to move through these waters, definitely a mode of learning needs to be adopted, one which is accompanied by consistency and perseverance.

I think in this sense, it gives me more solace when I think about it.

We serve at the pleasure of the community, a community made up of you and me.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Him, Her & Humanity

"Enter into wedlock, O people, that ye may bring forth one who will make mention of Me amid my servants. This is My bidding unto you; hold fast to it as an assistance to yourselves."

-Bahá'u'lláh (The Kitáb-i-Aqdas)

The above quotation is taken from the Baha'i Faith's Holy Book, the The Kitáb-i-Aqdas. My friend had brought this quotation to my attention some time ago and I have been giving it some thought, especially in terms of what marriage means to humanity.

If you had followed my last post, please know that my posts from now on are some of the fruits of consultation between my wife and I, assuming that I will never be able to fully understand any aspect of reality without the input from my wife.

Before I begin, I would like to note that the following is only our limited understanding on the subject and is should not be considered as representative of the sacred writings of the Baha'i Faith.

My basic understanding on the phrase "...who will make mention of Me amid my servants.", is that one of the strongest ways to make mention of God amongst humanity is in spreading the teachings of His Manifestations and practising it as a means to contributing to the advancement of civilisation towards the oneness of humanity.

And to give context to this post: Should the thought of marriage be constantly linked with the concept of a human family?

Here are some thoughts into both possible answers to this question.

Surely, one would feel a higher sense of fulfilment when one is married and further starts a family. A sense of fulfilment that one can now contribute to humanity on a whole new level - the opportunity to raise yet another child of God and of humanity. Wow, can you just imagine that for a second? Each person being endowed with nearly limitless potentialities and gifts to bring about wonders in advancing human civilisation, and we now have the opportunity to be part of raising one of them? Surely, if we leave this world knowing that our children have grown up contributing to the betterment of the world, we would leave this world in peace and fulfilment.

Now let's take it a step further and imagine if all of us parents and would-be parents have the desire to raise our children in such a way. Would our society be consisting of just mere individuals or families? Would the basic unit of the human society be individuals or families? There is a prevalent train of thought which postulates that good behaviour and morality starts within the confines of the home or family. I had a close friend who recently told me how powerless she felt in trying to bring about social transformation. Perhaps we are all at a stage in our lives when we feel that our capacity to contribute to social change is somewhat limited. But does not our capacity contribute to social change multiply tremendously when we have the opportunity to raise one human soul who will want to contribute to an ever-advancing civilisation? (This question is directed more so to those searching souls who still wonder if marriage is for them).

Now let's take it down a notch and think how raising one who makes mention of God helps us as a married couple and even as individuals. An increasing number of researchers are testifying to the assumption that each of us learn the most from our parents, especially in our early years, about the many questions of life and society. Where does a child learn how to show love to one another? Where does a child learn that the woman should always be attending to the needs of children whereas the father only goes to work? Where does a child learn to look down on another race? Or show love to all who may cross their path? Where does a child learn that education is only a means to a rich and upper-class lifestyle? Or that education is to bring out the best in us to carry forward an advancing civilisation? Where does a child learn that he has to prioritize his happiness and comfort over others? Or that he will want to lead a life which seeks to to change the situation of the oppressed?

So how would I want to teach my children how to show love? I would first need to learn to show love to my wife.

And lastly, let's think about some implications from what we have talked about so far. Could one of the ways we try to address the many pressing problems of humanity lie in the sacred relationships of our marriages? When I make a slip of the tongue or a simple negative action (like littering when there is no dustbin around) which does not harm anyone, a thought always scares me. What if my children had heard me say that or saw me do that? And though I do not have children yet, the thought of that already makes me think seriously about the way I live my life.

I guess I will end here with a couple of scenarios to think about. One is where I litter a sweet wrapper just because I would need to get back into my car to drive to a dustbin, and that act if left unchecked, perpetuates into a possible future where my child would one day be that person who disregards the earth's resources in favour of a comfortable lifestyle of a privileged few.

The other scenario is where I praise the Lord with my wife for each other each night before going to bed, and if it continues, will perpetuate into a possible future where my child would one day be that person who champions the cause of justice through the reforms of policy because there are countless others who have less to thank for than himself.

Have a blessed week.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Towards relationships with a mode of learning

Phew, it has been a long time since I posted on this blog. I guess indiscipline got the best of me. Nonetheless, I have been giving some prolonged thought to a particular subject over the past few months and I will be sharing some of my reflections on it in the next few posts.

I have been engaging with a lot of youth recently since my involvement in a series of global youth conferences (read about it and watch it here). Primarily these conferences were a call to the current generation of youth in the world to arise to contribute to the advancement of civilisation. However, this overarching agenda brings into perspective the other aspects of one's life. And among them is the aspect of marriage and relationships.

So one of the big questions is 'How does my purpose to contribute to the advancement of society find expression in my marriage or relationship?' A weighty question together with a lengthy discussion is expected.

Over the past few months, having been involved with a number of youth, this question is often trying to be answered in numerous conversations. In this post, I will be writing about a particular train of thought which I have been having while having conversations with youth regarding this question.

I hope it may be of benefit to those who are also thinking about this topic.

Among one of the basic concepts which one should strive to understand when engaging in service to humanity is the mode of learning. Development agencies in certain regions of the world are beginning to question some of their fundamentals in the way they have operated and among them is the concept of learning through experience. Without going into too much detail, perhaps one way of looking at service is in its close relationship with the mode of learning.

When one is striving to carry a mode of learning in his path of service, one often asks questions which can seek to improve his capacity for service. Let it not be understated that what we do not know will always outweigh that which we know. And this leads us to a profound sense of humility in all our endeavours.

So how does this mode of learning express itself in our marriage or relationships?

Perhaps a small assumption should be stated that a strong relationship is one which is built on a foundation which is permanent. At most times, the twofold purpose of advancing one's own self and contributing to the advancement of society (watch more about it here) proves to be a foundation for a relationship which is of high permanence.

All in all, even if a marriage or a relationship is founded on a shared purpose of wanting to contribute to society, there will often be obstacles and differences which can cause this foundation to tremble.

Can a mode of learning help us brave through these trials and tribulations?

First, let us examine in any given marriage or relationship, who is the most experienced? Or the most learned? The one less likely to be wrong about anything, the one who will often make the most sense and logic in any quarrel or argument.

Who knows what is best for the relationship? Him or her?

To state again, in case you missed it earlier on. "What we do not know will always outweigh that which we know".

And when such consciousness is raised in the couple, each will often question their own conduct and behaviour to try to learn whether what they are doing to the relationship is the best thing or not. (I guess to an extent, if you want to contribute to society, you should also think of serving your special someone).

And with this sense of humility, each would often think that perhaps.....a BIG perhaps, I am the one who has the shortcoming in this particular argument or indifference.

And begin to seek the help of the other towards solving any challenge or difficulty which lies ahead.

May your mode of learning be strengthened continually throughout the rest of your lives together. =)

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Its a mystery alright...

I am happy.

I have not much idea on how or why though. But I am tying my best to understand it.

All my life, I've been the type to know what is the right thing to do (guided by God of course) and I always chose that path of doing what is right though it be more difficult.

It would seem that by doing so, one would go through many challenges but at the end of the day would be able to sleep at night in peace and serenity.

But I did not get that for the many early years of my life.

Day in day out it was tests and challenges, sort of like testing my Faith. I often ask myself, if these acts of service I do (spreading the Word of love and joy, assisting youths to be spiritually empowered etc..) will bring joy to my heart, why is it that the tests always seem so much bigger than the joy of doing it?

I could not answer this question for years. But I did not do what was right for the reward but I did it because...there's nothing worse than not listening to your heart..and the heart always speaks what is right.

But as of late..I am starting to feel that joy...that simple heartfelt warmness when I am serving. To see the smile on young ones as they look to you with so much hope and almost no defilement of this modern world. Something within just melts.

I am also currently serving closely together with a number of young individuals who are on the same page as I am. It's great!

Nothing beats doing what you think is right...than doing it with others who also think so.

It's a mystery I tell you. This act of doing what is right.

I prescribe it to everyone. It is the greatest experience of soulful joy one can ever have.

I dare you to experience it.

ps. leave me a comment if you want to know my ongoing commitments to service

Sunday, January 25, 2009

To inspire when your down

I was originally going to write a post full of conflict and very stress inducing to the reader.

Thankfully, I've gone above my lower natures and have chosen to to tell my dear readers, that the sweetness of life, is up to us and does not depend on the things which happen to us.

Here is a story I have come across in the course of my travels in life, enjoy.

There once lived a lady who lead a simple and complete life. She was blissfully married and had a job which was not too demanding. It was complete.

Till one day, her husband passed away due to an accident. Then, her life just started to crumble before her eyes. She was no longer complete.

She had been mourning for months and it had dawned on her that she needed to do something to cure her depression. So she chose to seek out an elderly lady whom was known for her good advice and answers about life.

As she seeked her out, the widow asked the elder how she could overcome her depression. The elder replied that she needed to go and find a certain bean and plant it in her house. The only condition is that that very bean had to come from a house which was purely happy and free from conflicts and problems. The widow agreed and started her quest.

The first house she visited was a huge and lavish mansion. As she stood at the gates, she thought to herself, "This place had to be a home to a very happy family." She entered and had a chat with the family. She soon found out that in spite of their family riches, their children were beginning to become nasty corporate people and the parents were very worried and clueless on what to do. The widow then shared her insight and her own experience to try and help the family. The family thanked her and ask her to come again.

Time for another house.

The second house, looked pretty simple and well to do and so the widow tried her luck yet again. This time the family in the house was actually facing a monetary problem due to bad luck in the family business and the future seemed very uncertain. The widow knew she did not have the anwers but comforted them in any way she could as that was the least she could do. The family thanked her for being so supportive and that said that she was God-sent. An angel.

Maybe third time's a charm?

The widow attempted a suburbian home. Simple life usually have little problems. As she made her acquaintances with the woman of the house, she could notice her sadness almost immediately. The widow had found out that this woman had also lost her husband not too long ago. Being able to relate entirely, she helped this woman to calm her worries and sorrows and just blessing her with a presence of hope.

The widow ended her quest and went back to the elder to seek more advice. She told the elder of the impossibility of finding such a bean for there is no such thing as a home free from troubles. The elder however avoided the question and asked about her journeys. The widow told it with such passion and fulfillment for being able to be of service. The elder then said that therein lies the cure to your depression. That by helping others with their troubles, the widow had soon forgotten her own.

It's a real mysterious thing this...act of helping others. It somehow just brings us joy.

Maybe our problems are not really about us going through a hard time but a hint to us that we have stopped being God-sent to others?

Friday, January 2, 2009

The jurisdiction above...

"The bounties of God are not bound by our limitations"

I got this quotation when I was attending a talk. I think it is brilliant.

To me, it attests to the awesome power of the Almighty and emphasizes that we mere mortals are on a whole different plane altogether. And I think sometimes if not most, we forget that.

It explains how humans can have inspirational stories and superhuman endeavours. It is sort of like our little peek to this jurisdiction above us.

I'd like to share with you a personal account on one of my tests and there is not much climax to it but bear with me here alright?

My STPM examination was the exam which would determine a big chunk of my life, my further studies. But not the main course of my life, let that be said. So you would figure that I would study extremely hard day and night and drop off all other commitments in order that I may ace this exam.

But I did the opposite.

Instead I became more and more involved in the service opportunities which were coming at me. Such opportunities would be to coordinate human resources in a social development programe in a largely formidable area..all big words..my point is, it was not community service such as 'gotong-royong' but these were serious responsibilities which required serious attention. And to top that off, I joined a group study with a bunch of friends and though some of my smarter friends told me not to because they viewed this bunch as a little less intelligent. I'm sorry but friendship bonds are not formed on academic studies as a base.

Sounds like a recipe for my disastrous future eh?

So let's just skip all the drama and jump to the end. I did considerably average for my exams but at this very moment I am in one of the creme faculties in the longest standing university in my country. And I now have even more chances to serve as a catalyst to development in a community. And last but most certainly not least, I have found the girl of my life whom I know has done so much good in my life that I now know I am a better person because God had granted me her.

It's a true story alright. Not such a bad ending eh?

My dear friends, I credit all of this to the Jurisdiction Above, lest ye underestimate it.

Good day!

Friday, December 12, 2008

May I know your weight please?

Well, this has been on my mind for some time now. Not the literal weight of course.

How does one weigh maturity? Is it on the job he has? The things he does in life? His age? His sex? His physique? Or merely his thinking?

I think we live in a world where we get distracted...vainly distracted. Especially in an Asian community where one is only an adult when he starts working, where before that, he is just an obedient child who does not know enough to go about this 'world'.

I have a question, does a teacher carry as much weight as a corporate financier in this world if not more? Who has more maturity or are both of them as mature because they both have careers? Now just bear with me a little here.

I serve as a facilitator to a youth program and I tell you its something that is on the rise. More and more young people who have not finish their educations are beginning to arise to help the even younger generation develope their capacities to serve the community.

Now tell me this, can an individual who is involved so very much in the education and development of the young be as mature, if not more, than the corporate officer who handles millions in a day?

Yeah sure, the corporate mogul gives many jobs and he is so well versed with the way the world works in cash flow and businesses which in most time literally keeps families alive. But let me advocate a little about what the teacher does, or what the youth who helps the younger ones do.

An individual who helps another in his or her education since young gives hope to the future, he slowly but determinedly forges the sword which will battle its way through a toughened world but if that sword is tough enough and great enough in numbers, then there will not be a need to use that sword. And that is when we know that the next generation is paving a new and more importantly, a bright future in times ahead.

So mayb this serving youth does not know how best to pay bills or cash flows around the market..but he gives a commitment to the world to make it a better place. Can an immature individual think that and certainly decide on it?

Please comment, I'd like to know how you percieve your weight in the world. =)