Towards relationships with a mode of learning

Phew, it has been a long time since I posted on this blog. I guess indiscipline got the best of me. Nonetheless, I have been giving some prolonged thought to a particular subject over the past few months and I will be sharing some of my reflections on it in the next few posts.

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I have been engaging with a lot of youth recently since my involvement in a series of global youth conferences (read about it and watch it here). Primarily these conferences were a call to the current generation of youth in the world to arise to contribute to the advancement of civilisation. However, this overarching agenda brings into perspective the other aspects of one's life. And among them is the aspect of marriage and relationships.

So one of the big questions is 'How does my purpose to contribute to the advancement of society find expression in my marriage or relationship?' A weighty question together with a lengthy discussion is expected.

Over the past few months, having been involved with a number of youth, this question is often trying to be answered in numerous conversations. In this post, I will be writing about a particular train of thought which I have been having while having conversations with youth regarding this question.

I hope it may be of benefit to those who are also thinking about this topic.

Among one of the basic concepts which one should strive to understand when engaging in service to humanity is the mode of learning. Development agencies in certain regions of the world are beginning to question some of their fundamentals in the way they have operated and among them is the concept of learning through experience. Without going into too much detail, perhaps one way of looking at service is in its close relationship with the mode of learning.

When one is striving to carry a mode of learning in his path of service, one often asks questions which can seek to improve his capacity for service. Let it not be understated that what we do not know will always outweigh that which we know. And this leads us to a profound sense of humility in all our endeavours.

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So how does this mode of learning express itself in our marriage or relationships?

Perhaps a small assumption should be stated that a strong relationship is one which is built on a foundation which is permanent. At most times, the twofold purpose of advancing one's own self and contributing to the advancement of society (watch more about it here) proves to be a foundation for a relationship which is of high permanence.

All in all, even if a marriage or a relationship is founded on a shared purpose of wanting to contribute to society, there will often be obstacles and differences which can cause this foundation to tremble.

Can a mode of learning help us brave through these trials and tribulations?

First, let us examine in any given marriage or relationship, who is the most experienced? Or the most learned? The one less likely to be wrong about anything, the one who will often make the most sense and logic in any quarrel or argument.

Who knows what is best for the relationship? Him or her?

To state again, in case you missed it earlier on. "What we do not know will always outweigh that which we know".

And when such consciousness is raised in the couple, each will often question their own conduct and behaviour to try to learn whether what they are doing to the relationship is the best thing or not. (I guess to an extent, if you want to contribute to society, you should also think of serving your special someone).

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And with this sense of humility, each would often think that perhaps.....a BIG perhaps, I am the one who has the shortcoming in this particular argument or indifference.

And begin to seek the help of the other towards solving any challenge or difficulty which lies ahead.

May your mode of learning be strengthened continually throughout the rest of your lives together. =)